My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
