This girl is more easily done than said...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
