Little spoons don't ask big questions
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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