and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
