if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
