You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
