I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
