i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
