sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
