I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
