nut hugger
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
