just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
