Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
