the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
