Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
