In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
