some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
