I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
