Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
