Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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