so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
