Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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