The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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