I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All the doctor said was why
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
