Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
