Do you still have your period?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
