I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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