whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
