I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
