im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
