she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
