Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
