He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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