i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
