I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
