"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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