Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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