i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
