i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My vagina is officially offended.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
