Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
