That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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