I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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