So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
my liver is dry heaving
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
