Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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