I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
