just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
