Your mouth is God's brothel.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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