Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
