im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
