I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do vagina's smell?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
