I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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