If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
